How much of U has happened because of U?

Your life is going as fast as normally does, you are trying to catch up with what u can, you have your work, your goals, may be 3 or 4 close friends, if you are lucky enough,  you keep in touch with, u get a disappointment here and an up lifting compliment there, you get some joy as well here and sadness would knock on your door there, ahh laughters ..some times you experience unplanned laughters, real and honest ones, their effect spreads for a day or two...you might receive a bad call, or a happy call...but yet again back to the course of your life..as fast as it normally goes

Every now and then you meet new people mainly through work....some are interesting others are far away from that, you appreciate yourself or you feel you lack this thing or that....again, you might have an accident, you get pissed for 2 or three days, you suffer from your insurance and you get over it ...

Its year end, you get tensed about your bonus, you wait and wait and wait...and one fine day u get that envelop, in both scenarios ...you get over it again...and in between all that, may be 3 birthdays of yours will pass by..your not getting any younger....still days are wheeling on...

You get a crush over her, you feel the excitement, joy, and happiness, you develop hope....you either get into a relationship or you simply it doesnt work..in the first case, you go through ups and downs...and what you longed for tends to be taken for granted. In the second scenario, you feel down for a while then you get over it again, very similar to less than expected bonus scenario i presume..the only difference here is that there is no bonus at all!

What i am trying to say is that your life goes on....its running.....moving fast.... u achieve things and you fail in many others...but have you really thought about whats in it for you?

Are we in control of our life or is it life that controls us? Are we floating on the surface of circumstances or are we creating our own chances? Have we been so consumed to the limit we are a result of something else?

I think we deserve to take a moment and stop everyting around us, we desreve a moment to do our own life's trial balance and see if it sums up to zero, are we in debt or in net credit?


Are you the driver of your own life? or are you just sitting next to your driver? How many good things happen in your life because you made it happen, and how many bad things happned in your life because it has had to happen?

Its worth being in the driver's seat again....we take all the turns we want to take and we stop when we want to stop and move forward when we simply want to move forward...writing it doesnt sound complicated...does it?  Whats happening to me, most of you are wondering, i suppose?

I just have read my 10th grade diary! I just found out that I have many good things right now in my life that i never wanted or dreamt of, nevertheless, I have not got good some of what i always wanted to have when i was in the 10th grade ! i am just wondering how much of me is because of me! ...what about the rest, who has contributed to the rest?

Orgasmic Death!

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.

I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first; get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you get to go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

Then you do drugs, alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...you finish off as an orgasm!

An Orgasmic Death is much better than a heart attack or a car accident...Who approves living as per my new life cycle?

Are you happy?

 Are you someone who is looking for happiness or someone who is looking for a meaningful life? Do you think a happy life is meaningful or a meaningful life will make you happy?

If you want to be happy in life, you have to live only in the present... dont think of the past and dont ask any question about the future. If you are able to enjoy only the present, never think of the past and never look forward to the future, then you can be very happy. Have you ever received a gift and didnt feel happy? Not for the value, the gesture? living the moment is a real "Present".

If you're working hard for a better future, trying to achieve as much as you can, may be because you had a rough past or because you want to have everything in the future, career, money, social life... etc.. Then you have very little connection with the present, actually you hardly live there, you are always looking forward...hence on any present moment you are tired and unhappy. However, with time, you do accumulate some wealth and achieve some goals, nevertheless,  you wont be living in the present to celebrate, you would be already looking for ways to achieve more in the near furture...after all you are chasing a meaningful life.... happiness rarely knock on your door if you have ever noticed.

If you want to be a doctor, a famous artist, or a successful banker, if you're running fast in order to afford the price of a fancy car or a duplex villa ... you are already after a meaningful life....you rarely have enjoyed the present....and therefore Happiness is only a famous station on your tube map that you're very familiar with, you pass it very frequently on your way to work, yet you rarely stop there!

I might have realised recently, that because living the moment is way easier than looking for a meaningful life, Happiness is very attainable at the present more than the future.

I have been running after my furture " my meaningful life" for so long now...i just feel i want to have a break.... i need to stop for a while send my self a present and then ill decide where to go from there.......Afterall your past added to your present will never equal the future!

The "Not Playing Games" Game!!

I have had my shares of relationships, like everyone else, but what I have really noticed is a whole new trend. Women have got them selves a new game...in the Past there were two types, the 99% were  playing games of all sorts...and the 1% were direct and honest...no games no lies..what you see is what you get sort of thing: My favourite Group.

Nowadays, men have to carefully watch who are going out with...a new group came to birth: Women who play the " Not Playing Games" Game!!! Its a new game where a man can almost never guess he is with a woman who plays games, because she doesnt look or even belong to the other group....yet she is still playing all types of games and simply not showing it on the surface...dangerously smart!

My question for all women out there, and I am not trying to offend any whatsoever, why do you play games, why dont you know  what you want most of the time? why, regardless of how much comfortable and happy you are in a relationship, you flip upside down when you know there is a proposal coming your way or moving to the next level?  you were the same person asking for stage two in stage one!! why not just try to say what you mean and mean what you say ...at least for once for heavens' sake!

I hate loving you....

I don't like you....or I maybe hate you...I haven't made up my mind yet. How can I decide if you don't let me know you...Allow me to contain you...permit me to predict you...make me feel you...license me to love you...

I only ask to be your daily station; at least stop here once a day to rest and maybe I can kiss you so I am able to go on through the day.....let me hold you so I can feel safe for the rest of the day..

What do I need to do if I always miss you, at work I miss you, at home I miss you, when we are together I miss you...Maybe I hate you because I always miss you....why you always have  to be somewhere else, why you always have to look in all directions other than mine..Are you purposely avoiding my eyes? Are you intentionally making me redundant? Do you feel it when you look into my eyes? Or is it the fact that you even look better in my eyes? You know that, dont you? You like that, dont you?

I searched for the truth in all your past, in what you told me about your past, I looked for an answer in every corner of your present, the part of your present that you only shared with me...I couldn't find a clue...do you love me? I need to know...I will hate you if I won't  ....do you love me? I want to know...I don't .....I dont know if I love hating you or I hate loving every bit of you.....

I try to contain you and you try not to pour yourself in me...I adore you and you try to be as distant as you can be...I follow you...and you try to mislead no one but me....I long for you and you have every man's address but me...I hate you and you are the only person I can see. When I ignore you: you come running to me...I avoid you and only then you think of reaching for me...

I can't smell you, but all my memories are soaked in your perfume, I can't see you, but only your photos are all over me....I can't touch you...but my senses are not working unless you're here.

Am I in love with you woman or loving you is anything but real?

Is she the one?

...Its weird how life works out it self sometimes! I have been waiting for some love and passion for so long .....until last summer when she showed up in my life....I saw her the first time in a colleague wedding in Lebanon...She was effortlessly stunning.....walking like a princess in her long black dress....my heart freezed....nothing meant anything any more...was stoned in my place waiting for the ceremony to end so i can do   something...get to know who she is...

Three hours laters I arrived to the Yakht club where the wedding reception was taking place....an asher was walking me through when i saw her sitting far away....i started praying to whomever that my table be near hers....and looking at the small table number in my hand....it was 8. I love number 8, its my lucky number....passed table 1, table 3, number 5 and then 7....then I realised I am walking in the odd numbered tables...she is sitting on the other side, and the number i have is 8.....after talking with the asher she realized I am sitting on the other line....on her table! how is that for a change! and I complained about my luck for the last 3 years! I love my luck!

 We smiled at each other, briefly introduced each other, didnt talk much...I simply couldnt find suitable words, precious words to approach her with..so when music got loud enough...when I felt I can really shake it and saw her standing on the edge of the dance floor..I took my chances and grabbed her hand and started dancing...i havent said a word..we danced six songs in a row....I couldnt really believe how good she was...too good to be true may be...Its weird when all your confidence evaborates and you start questioning if you are good enough as well? I doubted everything I have done in my life by looking in her eyes...those six songs where the most meaningful songs ever...

I ended the night ...with a kiss on the cheek ..i didnt ask for her number... and left back to my hotel....I just told myself, if you want a woman set her free, if she comes back she is all yours!